


Someone To Remember Me...

by NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot



Series: A Watcher's Legacy [1]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 07:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17320715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot/pseuds/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot
Summary: The Watcher is having inner conflict over her feelings, that she doesn't even quite understand. Given everything she has recently discovered from the Delemgan, and her impending insanity due in no small part to her awakened soul, she's more conflicted than ever.





	Someone To Remember Me...

**Author's Note:**

> I want to premise by saying this one-shot is more headcanon for my own sake, to lead up to Deadfire because I had my watcher have a crush on him before I knew he was a romance option in the next game.  
> I have written this story before diving down the hole of no return in the burial isle as well so any further information I could have gleamed from that encounter is not going to be seen here.  
> (PLEASE DO NOT POST COMMENTS WITH SPOILERS!!! I "HAVE NOT" FINISHED DEADFIRE AND DON'T WANT IT RUINED FOR ME)
> 
> !Please read the 2 comments on the fic, because I changed some things before the next story in the series!

Evening had begun to set in, casting a faint orange hue upon a peaceful yet bustling camp as the occupants begun preparing for the long cold night ahead of them, by pitching tents and going about preparing the evening meal. Amidst the bustle however there were two lone figures, one of which who was watching the other that was none the wiser almost as if a predator would its prey. On the edge of the camp was a clearing that was complimented by a river that coursed through it, where the figure that was being scrutinized sat.

The small predatory silhouette glided across a break in the foliage to gain a better vantage point to survey its quarry which was the slim form of a male elf seated on a fallen log by the river, holding open a book of some kind that he was absorbed in reading. The watcher held out her clawed, lightly furred hand, baring the scars of shackles on her wrist, to rest on the trunk of a tree at the edge of the clearing. She removed her hood, revealing the remainder of her animalistic features, as she continued to watch the elf with muted desperation.

She looked back in the direction of the camp to ensure no one was coming from behind, her reddish, shoulder-length hair flopping across her face at the sudden motion and her long ears swiveling to catch any sounds. She brushed the hair from her honey-yellow colored face as she once again set her mismatched green and blue eyes on the man. Her claws sunk into the bark of the tree in trepidation as she observed her mark who every once in a while flicked through the pages of his book still unaware that he was being observed.

Questions swirled around in her head, fears and better judgment also swam around in the mix as she regarded the man with familiarity rather than someone who sought to end his life or at the very least cause him harm. She had the grace and dexterity of a criminal as if hiding from those she didn’t wish to be seen by came naturally to her. She wanted to enter the clearing and approach the elf who sat before her but a knot in the pit of her stomach kept her from getting any closer, for now.

This wasn’t someone she regarded as a friend, indeed she wasn’t even sure herself what he meant to her; all she really knew for certain is that this was someone she shared an almost similar past to. The only differentiation to their histories was that her freedom was paid for in the blood of a man who had previously held dominion over her. The journey from Old Vailia had been one of a hunted slave and even now she feared that a bounty hunter would show up to exact revenge on her for killing her master. He was a cruel shrew of a man who never spared the whip on any of his slaves and her fiery temper had caused him to come down harder on her than most.

She winced at the recollection of the pain and the constant reminder of her life of chains and excruciating labor in Vailian fields in the form of crisscrossed patterns on her marred back. The elf she had her gaze set so intently on was running too, but not from the same life. He was running from Cythwood, from his abusive father, and from a life in the service to his father’s erl. She felt unexplainably drawn to him as if they shared a special bond like none other in their small party, but he didn’t come without his own…quirks. His company came with a hitch in the form of an out-spoken and crude, awakened soul, whom she had met on their first encounter in Gilded Vale but didn’t learn about until much later into their travels.

She’d initially set out for Gilded Vale with the promise of a new life and perhaps even the opportunity to settle down and start a family but she wasn’t to know that an attack on the caravan she was with and subsequent survival from a Bîaŵac would turn her brief life as a free person on its head. She was thrust yet again into a life she didn’t choose nor want and was met with only questions and death. On top of that even in the free palatinate of Dyrwood she was treated as less than nothing and as if she was no more than an animal. Ever since her arrival she had had to lie and deceive, kill, and engage in political diatribe to get by.

She knew her new life wasn’t going to come without hardships and trials but the last thing she expected was to be able to see into the souls of both the living and the dead while being informed that her newfound abilities would send her mad eventually. This revelation also came with a stronghold attached that she was happy to accept and return to its former glory. It was after all the best shot she had at attaining a _life_ outside of the danger she now faced, even though Caed Nua itself came with its own secrets and skeletons.

The elf in question also came with his own secrets and skeletons that she least of all expected, because despite her usual methods of survival, she had allowed herself to trust, and that well-meaning trust was met with a betrayal in the wake of Defiance Bay going up in flames and rioters taking to the streets. The elf revealed that he was working in no small part for the Leaden Key, her mortal enemy. He expressed his sincerest apologies to her for keeping it a secret and begged her forgiveness that she suspected he didn’t truly expect to receive.

Perhaps it was her clouded feelings for him despite this stark betrayal, but she forgave him willingly and also expressed to him that she wanted him to walk beside her as her equal, not her servant, not her slave, but as her…friend. If her life of slavery taught her one thing, it was that she never intended to have anyone who she cared about as a friend of however she truly regarded him, think themselves less than her or less worthy of respect as an individual, especially not after she had heard his tale.

It had been little over a week since he had revealed his true intentions for accompanying her out of Gilded Vale that day and to her disappointment he was skirting her like the plague or as if she had suddenly started advocating for animancy. She knew he wasn’t doing it maliciously, and she understood that he felt guilty about what he had done, considering she had helped him as best she knew how with his awakened soul, and how kindly she had always treated him, never cruel or clever, but benevolent, fair and just. She even went as far as to allow him to steal the animancer’s notes because she knew how much it meant to him to keep his personal affairs exactly so.

Recently however the two had been given a hefty dose of bad news. In truth the two of them were still reeling after having been given the harsh reality surrounding their awakened souls. Two Delemgan had explained to them that there was no way to undo an awakening just as one could not erase their past, which destroyed anything Maerwald may have said that indicated otherwise. Truthfully she had held onto the possibility of her salvation from madness which would now undoubtedly lead to her death, even though at her core she knew that it wouldn’t be so.

Not only did this affirm that she was going to meet a grisly end but it also meant that there was no way she could save the elf from his awakened soul, even though that was what she desperately wanted to accomplish. A part of him seemed to break inside at the news, as if all that he had strived towards was for naught, as he was now informed that his demon would haunt him for eternity. Not only was he now torn from his time lost goal of finding a cure for his problem but she had been forced to watch her hopes and dreams of a future come crashing down around her.

He had inevitably resigned himself to his fate and gained what seemed to be the upper-hand on Iselmyr, but she could tell it was far more than a stone’s throw from what he wanted.

These turn of events was what led her to maintain her shrouded position in the woods to observe him by the river, as he yet again circumvented all contact with the party to avoid any of them having choice words with him or having to face her disappointed gaze. She didn’t like spying on him and it’s not what she intended every time she followed him when he left camp, for she had planned to speak with him alone and share her tale with him to help him understand that everything regarding the Leaden Key was forgiven. She understood why he did what he thought was necessary to escape his shackles. He hadn’t resorted to murder like she had to escape, but she understood his situation all the same.

She wasn’t sure however what she wanted to do about the strange feeling swirling around in her chest every time she considered reaching out to him, especially given recent events. She was an orlan slave albeit unbeknownst to him and he was a wood elf from Aedyr, a place known for its slavery of the early Glanfathans. So even if he was able to overlook the part about her being a slave, she had to contend with the fact that she was by all accounts and from what everyone had constantly affirmed…a beast.

He was a noble elf and she was a fur covered animal.

Either way none of this was worth pursuing or even up for consideration because she knew full well that the time she had left was short indeed, and he would carry on without her long after her death.

A dull pain pushed its way into the midst of her emotions and she knew giving up this prospect was going to hurt but in her mind it was for the best, for the both of them. It was a fact that she had come to accept during her time in the Vailian fields after many failed escape attempts. Hoping for something that would never come to fruition was a waste of much needed energy.

As she was lost in thought and her own turmoil, she wasn’t paying attention to her footing and as she shifted, she stepped on a twig, snapping it. The elf’s head rose from the book he was intently studying indicating that he had heard her misstep and she was revealed. She quickly but inconspicuously walked into the clearing towards him so that it wasn’t discovered that she had been watching him. Even if she hadn’t intended to confront him tonight and talk things over about exactly what had transpired on that bridge to Defiance Bay or the news thrust upon them in Twin Elms, she didn’t really have a choice anymore.

He watched her as she walked over and closed his grimoire, “Loralai…” He greeted hesitantly, as he made to stand,

“Don’t get up on my account Aloth; I just came to see how you were doing.” She said with a smile in her voice,

“Me…I was studying the grimoire I got from that merchant we passed by the other day.” He considered her for a moment, “Was there something you wanted me for?”

She took a seat on the log, a distance from him, “It’s been a while since we’ve simply been able to sit down for a change; I was hoping we could talk.”

He hesitated for a moment as her conversations usually revolved around asking him about Iselmyr and how he was coping with keeping her suppressed.

She chuckled as she noticed his apprehension, “I just want to catch up Aloth; we haven’t really talked since Defiance Bay.”

He fidgeted, “Well after what I said, I wanted to spend as little time around Pallegina as possible. It’s…become harder to keep Iselmyr away when I’m near her…especially after how she reacted to the news.” He runs a hand through his hair, “Sagani and Edér seem to have accepted my sincere apology and I don’t think Hiravias even cares but she probably detests the idea more because you and I are both against animancy and she sees it as a useful tool.”

Aloth paused for a moment to collect his thoughts, “You’re the last person I expected to accept my apology, since you are the most directly affected by my actions.” He confessed,

Loralai caressed the furless mark on her left wrist with her thumb, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

He seemed to panic at her revelation since the Leaden Key were responsible for her early demise.

“Had I known what we were going to discover in Twin Elms I never would have hid the truth from you.” He assured adamantly,

“I don’t blame you for keeping the information from me; I probably would have done the same thing in your position. I meant what I said anyway, I don’t offer forgiveness lightly and I understand the desire to do whatever you must do to escape the confines in your life.” She paused for a moment and allowed the silence to pass between them before breaking it, “I’m only sorry that I can’t help you with Iselmyr, so I should be the one apologizing.”

He seemed taken aback, “Living with this annoyance, although quieter than she was, is far more merciful than what now inescapably awaits you.”

She kicked her legs out in front of her and looked out across the river letting his words seep in, “It’s funny isn’t it? I know about your past and not by your own choosing, but you know almost nothing about me since we started travelling together six months ago. I think it’s only fair if I made things even between us.”

“It’s not necessary, really.” Aloth dismissed nervously,

She turned back to look at him, as she stopped kicking her legs, “I feel like you should be entitled to know about the person you’re travelling with.” She said matter-of-factly, “Or at least get to know me besides what everybody else already knows; that I will inevitably go crazy all thanks to Thaos.”

His face hardened after she mentioned meeting a similar fate to Maerwald.

The true weight of what he had implied earlier making itself known.

Loralai offered a faint smile, “Someone needs to know who I really was when I do end up going crazy…so someone will at least remember me for who I was.”

His voice was low and sincere, “I would be honored to carry your memory with me, Loralai.”

It was a cold comfort to her that he and their small group would perhaps be the only ones to remember her once her bones laid bare in the dust. That they would be the only ones to remember, that an orlan was responsible for helping end Waidwen’s Legacy. That the epitome of an uncivilized race ended up being their savior. Indeed, she hoped that someone would remember that, and remind those in power every time they looked on an orlan and saw a beast, that it was one of them that would ensure another hollowborn would never again be birthed into the world.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was not as refined as I am used to writing, such as my swtor fics, but I hope you enjoyed it for what it was!
> 
> (PLEASE DO NOT POST COMMENTS WITH SPOILERS!!! I "HAVE NOT" FINISHED DEADFIRE AND DON'T WANT IT RUINED FOR ME)


End file.
